Symon’s recent post reminded me of the low self-esteem many subs (and even us Domly types) can face and must ultimately deal with. Personally I believe one of my greatest responsibilities is to give back my babygirl her lost self-esteem. It’s there. Always has been. It’s just been stomped on by any number of life occurrences over the years.
Several years ago I spent a year as liaison between a K-8 private school and a primary donor for a new wing of a building. As a contractor, the school asked me to guide the process on their, and the donors behalf.
At the opening shindig/dedication, I had a board member approach me and say something to the effect of “thank you so much for all your time and hard work during the project.” My response …. “eh, it was nothing.” This was a board member I knew fairly well and was not known for sugar coating anything. She looked at me with a bit of disdain and said in no uncertain terms, “can’t you take a compliment?” I can’t remember what I said after that as the committee in my head immediately took over.
I discovered I was doing two things I didn’t much like.
First, and most importantly, I was minimizing my role; expressing doubt over the value of what I had done for the organization. Shame … that corroding thread the weaves through (dare I say) all of us to a degree.
Second, I was declining a gift another person was offering me and that affects them. She gave me the gift of a compliment. Have you ever felt the excitement of finding that perfect birthday present for someone? What if they simply said, “ehh, I don’t want it.” I was denying her the right to offer something positive.
I made a decision. No more self-deprecation, and don’t squelch another person’s desire to do something nice for me. Sure, I can fall back into old patterns but awareness usually jumps in. Do the right thing. Do it for me. Do it for them.
Do it to remind yourself that you are worthy.