About eight years ago I was going through a very challenging period in my life. A large part included ending a 20 year marriage and subsequently wondering if true love was really out there. The final straw of my marriage was when I told my now ex-wife that I felt like we were just roommates. Her response, “after 20 years all couples are just roommates.” I left the next day.
Soon after, talking with my therapist, I asked with a strong tone of skepticism, “you don’t actually believe the fairytale is possible do you?” Her response, “you better believe it is.” But then she also pointed out there’s MY fairytale and then there’s THE fairytale. Let me explain.
MY fairytale begins and ends in my mind. It’s the one I build and then desperately search for. So arrogantly certain that I know how to find, structure, mold, and even manipulate my own ultimate happiness. And while I fancy myself a thinker and imagineer extraordinaire, it’s limited. It’s bounded by my tunnel vision. By my limited expectations. By my arrogance. I was once told, if I’d been able to write my own story, I would have sold myself short. THE fairytale has similarities to mine but the scope and depth are born outside of my tunnel vision. She told me when I stopped trying so hard to create MY fairytale then perhaps THE fairytale had room to present itself into my life.
Enter faith, patience and hope. Over the years, I’ve asked God for patience and what I’ve been given is numerous opportunities to practice it. (careful what you ask for, you just might get it) The hope has always been there. But my experiences and willingness to continue to search inside has brought me a gift from the outside that was “out of left field.” Completely unexpected. And it’s exponentially more grand. Its greater than the limits of my own imagination.
Db is beautiful, sexy, kinky, little, submissive, broken, healing, strong …… and her brilliance and insight abound. She told a friend, this past weekend could be a life changing event. Neither of us expected this. It did indeed come out of left field.
I write this to shout it from the hilltop. I want to call my therapist and tell her she was right! I want to let everyone that has ever questioned the fairytale know that it does exist. Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle occurs. We are never too old, too broken or too unworthy. Db and I are two very blessed people. And all of us deserve nothing less.
May we all find and bask in the fairytale.