I wrote my last post with little or no expectation of ever sharing with anyone but db. I wrote it to begin to guide her into the next level of our relationship. It was for her. It was to begin to share a bit of what our intimate time together might look like. I wanted to see her reaction. I wanted to arouse her. I wanted her to begin to feel safe. Comfortable and excited. So, I read it to her the other night (she loves when I read to her) planning to send her a copy and that would be that.
But I got something I wasn’t expecting. She emphatically expressed her desire to have me post it on my blog. I’d thought about it but wasn’t sure …. call it the southern gentleman or chivalrous part of me but I was struggling with posting something so intimate. She however, has found her blog to be an incredible outlet and very therapeutic, even cathartic at times. (The post is fiction BTW as I will never give a “blow by blow” (pun?) account of our intimate time together. That I will not compromise.) But I needed to understand why. So we talked. She wanted to have her friends and followers see her through my eyes. She wants you guys to know more about her … the parts she is hesitant to express, even on her blog. At times, she is challenged by fully “disclosing” her feelings and thoughts, especially when it comes to her sexual and physical D/s desires.
She needs me to post this for her. This is no longer about me protecting my own need for privacy, it’s about giving to her. That’s the foundation for our relationship. What can I give to her, do for her to help her grow in all areas of her life?
Finally, she said this morning that she was now feeling even more anxious about revealing her private thoughts and feelings; this coming from her need to please me. BAM! My tone immediately changed. I told her in no uncertain terms that if I discover she is holding back on her blog there will be very strong consequences. I explained that I understand how important her blog is and that she is never to censor her own thoughts. The blog was here way before I was and I will NEVER box her in/keep her from something that helps her become the person/little/submissive that I know resides deeply within in her soul. (As a side note, her response to this was “you know I love it when you are this forceful with me and use that tone” followed by her adorable giggle.)
So, I’ll be posting Part Two shortly. And more in the coming days. The rest will be written for her as it was always intended. For us. But posting it will also be for her. She’s the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met and I’ve been blessed with the responsibility of guiding her to fully blossom. I’m a lucky man.