I once heard “unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments.” And I’ve been feeling rather resentful toward myself over the last few days; specifically regarding my perceived sexual prowess. Sometimes I need to go re-read my own stuff. The fairytale. I still have this incredible need to create and control everything around me. Lo and behold, I’ve been derailed a bit since landing in the Lone Star State the day after Christmas.
Db and I had great plans and expectations of taking our relationship to a sexual euphoria like none that has ever come to pass. I wanted to really lay it on her. Watch her eyes roll back into her head. Take her to subspace ten minutes after my plane landed.
Well, it managed to not work out that way. You see, I have to remember I’m 52, heavier than I want to be and certainly not in the shape I’d like. Plus that damn committee in my head can call for an impromptu meeting at the worst possible time.
I’m not a porn star. My name is Hunter, not Studly Hungwell.
So, we didn’t get exactly what we were hoping for. We got something much grander. We got closer. We talked. We had to communicate and open up to each other (now there’s a novel idea). Our thoughts. Our expectations. Plus so many other things resulted from our conversation about sexuality; more about who we are as people. And we both love more and more what we are learning. Perhaps I do need to re-read my post and remind myself that the best things in my life come when I stop trying so hard to mold and shape and just let things evolve.
The good news …. things are progressing. We are exploring sexually. Not at my pace or her pace but at The Pace. Not my or her fairytale, but The Fairytale.
So don’t bother us tonight! It’s New Year’s Eve. We may be swinging from the rafters, shackled to the chandelier, adorned in all sorts of erotic paraphernalia and bathed in coconut oil. Or, we might be watching a movie. Only the fairy dust will determine that outcome.
Bless you all our WordPress friends. May each of us have a wonderful and highly erotic 2015!