I’ve always known being submissive isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes great strength to submit. Now, I’m not talking about finding a play partner and bending over a chair. I’m talking about submitting. Giving yourself fully to the trust of a dominant partner. Allowing your body to follow, only once the spirit and emotion are handed over to be held in trust. That’s submission and that takes great strength.
Additionally there is the common thread of submissives’ “past.” Most I have met or read have had more than their fair share of life’s trials and tribulations. These range from shitty “doms” (notice the “quotation marks” and little “d”) and less than stellar relationship partners, to verbal, emotional and sexual abuse.
Being a sub is no cake walk. There is often terrific burden to bear and that takes amazing strength.
Then there is the wonderful little side. I wonder how many in the kink community understand what it really means to be a little. I’m learning more and more every day. Those of us that love our littles/subs have a front row seat to witness the joy and beauty of seeing these multifaceted individuals play and romp, act silly and giggle, be themselves. We also witness them as adults in the real world. It often takes a daily effort to function in this frequently overwhelming and scary world. This takes great strength.
I remind db of her strength and I doubt she fully believes it. She believes me but not in herself, though that is changing (so proud). And I do all I can to relieve her of the burdens of the outside world. I only want to allow her to be her true self. Her little self. Her submissive and sexual self. She has spent the better part of her life facing the challenges of the world alone. And has done one hell of a job by the way. But I love her. This is her time to be free. Free to be little and free to belong to me.
I’ll keep showing her how strong she really is. I wish I could sprinkle fairy dust and make all the fears go away but life doesn’t work that way. She’s a submissive but also a human being so she will never do things perfectly. I am a Dom and a human being so I won’t either. Independent of each other we can only go so far. Together, we can walk through more than we can imagine. And we are.
Hold my hand doll baby. I’ve got you.
Mel Douleur said:
Seriously. Every post?! Stop making me CRY! …Just kidding.
Cinny… JACKPOT!
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hispetitelle said:
Your last line just made me well up with tears. Coach always says “I’ve got you.” He uses that line especially when I am my most frightened or vulnerable and he will just hold me and rock me and say it over and over. I found myself doing the same thing with our kids from the moment they were born. Many times those are the only words I need to hear and then I know that everything will be alright.
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Kayla Lords said:
Finally, I get to say this about SOMEONE ELSE…you are both so cute. 🙂
That being said, it is sometimes very hard to be big in the world when you’re feeling little. I can’t wait for the day when she sees her own strength the way you see it within her.
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Cinn said:
You are the only thing I feel sure of…. And even then, it’s hard quieting the voices of fear
I love you. You make everything better.
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Dawn D said:
Every time I read you, I think how wonderful it must be to simply be allowed to giggle and not feel scared of all the responsibilities. Yet I know this will not happen for me. Not as ling as my kids need me the way they do right now.
So all I can do is live vicariously through you both. Thank you for sharing.
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Hunter said:
I appreciate what you are saying and glad that you can live vicariously through us. But I just can’t click “Like” on this comment. Never say never. It will happen when it is supposed to.
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Dawn D said:
Thank you Hunter. The thing is, I enjoy being able to handle so many things. I enjoy feeling strong and knowledgeable. But then at night I want to ower up in a small ball and just forget about everything. Or in the morning, it cripples me and I cannot achieve a thing in my day and feel like a total failure.
All I really would like to do is help people, in any way I can. I despise having to plan and think ahead about finances and stuff like that. I forget to get my car checked, I hate having to discipline my children, to teach them that they cannot behave like bullies, that the way to go is to love one another. And because I hate having to do that, I get angry and snap at them, which is the last thing I want.
My deep down feeling is that I want to go with the flow, be guided through life, be loved for who I am. And it’s hard to reconcile it with the need to be a leader, to be the person they look up to and who is responsible for providing for them. The fact that I’m constantly unwell, or have been for what feels like a year, or a lifetime, I don’t know any more, doesn’t make it any easier. I want someone to take care of me and instead, I have to take care of others. And that’s scary, exhausting and hard to explain.
I guess I’ll use this for a post, it probably deserves to be written on my blog too…
Thank you for your support and caring. It means a lot 🙂
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Cerita said:
What a lovely post – it is wonderful watching you both grow together. It is a joy to witness.
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wildwestangel said:
I 💜 you, FH.
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sirslittledarling said:
…”play and romp, act silly and giggle, be themselves. .. ” I don’t know about this part…do you have an example of Cinn romping?
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Cinn said:
Darling…. you are a naughty little thing 🙂 Giggles….
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MydarlingsSir said:
Yes….she is a very naughty little thing…I love that about her….
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Cinn said:
Giggles more..
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sirslittledarling said:
Some one is flirting.
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Cinn said:
Hello Kitty 🙂 lol
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