I love the theater, both as an audience member and being on the stage. In recent years, I’ve done Wizard of Oz, 9 to 5, Godspell and just finished Fiddler on the Roof. After four weeks of rehearsals, we moved into the theater and over the course of 22 days did tech and dress week, and 16 performances. Typically I was at the theater from 6PM to 11PM and noon to 11PM on Saturdays (two shows). I was home only four of those 22 evenings.

I talked with Db after being cast and let her know I would be away; a lot. Her response was she wants me to do what I love. It was tough for her. With me being increasingly tired over the course of the run, I also began to pull away from her. I wanted to be alone. I was covered up with work during this time as well. There was no sex. I was quiet. Here she is in a new town, lots of time on her hands and her Daddy was in absentia. I told her I didn’t want to have sex but more so, I was just unavailable. I felt guilt and felt overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Mainly to her.

The show ended and I quickly felt a depression come on. It was a more intimate show that I have ever done and there was a letdown.  Still, no intimacy with Db. I questioned in my own mind if I could handle this relationship and the responsibilities I have both to her and us. She is very perceptive and sensed this as well. Ultimately, she asked if I wanted her there. “If you are going to send me back, go ahead and do it now,” she said. This wasn’t an immature, passive-aggressive threat, she was taking care of herself. That one scared the shit out of me.

Yesterday, there was a bit of light with one of the many pressures I am feeling that essentially has to do with her well-being. I began to breathe a bit. She asked, “can I help you relax Daddy?” My mind and self-imposed pressure precluded me from even considering what she was offering.

Ten minutes later, God jumped in and completely changed my thinking. I went to the bed, took off my pants, called her back to the bedroom and instructed her to sit Indian style at the foot of the bed. Spreading my legs and placing them on either side of her lap, my cock was already hard. I had her use her hands on my cock and balls with coconut oil. The kink in me burst from it’s temporary cave. I reached down and spread my cheeks, instructing her to put her finger in my ass.

She timidly began to push saying “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Do it,” I instructed.

She pushed her finger in and I told her to move it around as she massaged my prostrate. I had her stroke me slowly and methodically until I was at a peak.

“Make me cum,” I told her.

She stroked vigorously and within the minute, I had one of the most explosive orgasms I’ve had in some time (I hadn’t come in about two weeks). I had her remove her finger and the rest of the load came forth almost as a second orgasm. She went to the bathroom and quickly returned to gently clean me up.

This was the connection. She felt closer to me than she had in a few weeks. This is what she wants and needs, and that’s what brings forth my primal and sexually dominant nature. It was as though things were being reset. She looked at me and said my expression had completely changed.

You see, she knew what to do for her Daddy. She is a little but a very insightful and mature little. We talked last night. “Relationships take work,” she reminded me. There had been so much going on lately I needed her guidance. She asked me what I was afraid of. It boiled down to me being afraid she doesn’t need me.

“I would be just fine without you just like you would be okay without me,” she said. “I just don’t want to.”

Nor do I.

She hasn’t had a good spanking in a few weeks. I told her to be prepared for one this evening. And it’s going to be very harsh and intense. Most likely with a plug in her ass. This morning, she said she was a little nervous but I could also see the change in her expression. She needs this overdue spanking physically, but more so the intimacy that it brings. It will help to reset our roles and connection. She knows it will satiate my sadistic desires but she also knows I will not take her to any place that is harmful or unsafe.

This is our life. Real D/s. Real love. There has been renewal that quite frankly, she facilitated. Brilliant! My mature little.

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